My name is Samuel Bustamante, I am 36 yrs old and I found Christ on Texas Death Row! “Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall”…………………………………
These are the very words that were told to me by a man that I am still thanking for doing so, they hit home home so much and they were the truth, so much so that, that is what it took for me to step out of the boat.
I was born and raised in Wharton County, in a town called El Campo, Texas. I was able to go to school there for a while, At least until the 11th Grade, at which time I quit because I was tired, 18 and running away again!!!!
I have had a very abusive childhood and was raised by parents that did not love me! They were Alcoholics, my mother worshipped the devil and my father was a Jehovah witness, so with the combination I had a very hard life and for many years I thought I deserved it.
With this I grew up not knowing what love was or felt like, I was into so many things growing up that it was not even funny! Drugs! Beer! Lying! Stealing! Collecting guns! Knives! And other things I did not need.
Going around hurting others because that is all I knew in my heart, I continued to run and run and run from one town to the next my whole life! I never had what you what call a criminal background because I id not get into “trouble” until I was 18 or so that’s when I went to prison for the first time! Although I wasn’t there that long I still felt the need to hang around the “bad guys” from there I lived yet more lies for many years! I lived a lie because I was not man enough to face the truth, the truth that I knew was inside my heart, I did not have any role models in my life to help me learn the right things, or to help me grow into a man with respect, I never knew what responsibility was, as it was never taught to me while I grew up!
My father’s religion was forced down my throat but I thought I had forgot all that, little did I know that I never forgot Gods words at all! They stayed inside my heart the whole time but I refused to admit it, I did not want anyone to know because I was concerned what they thought!
I found Christ on death row, through a man named John Adam’s and Alvin Kelly we were talking and they were trying to teach me about God and the Bible I was being hard headed! Yet bro john he got frustrated with me I guess, and he said to me “your like talking to a brick wall” well I got mad as im no brick wall but his word’s got me out of the boat and I was able to step away!!!! It has been such a long journey for me, I lost track off the day he said that. God has worked so many wonder’s in my life he has blessed me so so much, more than I ever thought possible, He sends me answers to my prayers in some form or another! And he continues to do so to this day! God has been so good to me and all these years I thought I did not deserve his love and kindness. I let the devil control my thought for so many years, he had me thinking that this was the right thing to do, “boy was I ever wrong!” I was called to be a child of god and to share his word and to walk worthy of gods calling, Im not trying to be like anyone, I want to feel better about me!! About who I am! To learn to deal with what is inside my heart and soul so that I can love myself, which is something I have not done before, I am quick to love others and help them if I can “but I always forgot me” the most important person in this walk of life!
I used to think that Sam’s way was the only way in life, I was wrong on that to excuse’s are easy as is it is to do the wrong thing also! It takes a real person to stand up and do the right thing, to ask god for help to open your heart and allow him to help you. I lost count of all the times I have fallen short of his will; yet he is always there to help me up. I abuse myself so much, I was hard on myself. Yet all this was for no reason as god has opened up new door’s for me! You can come to him and ask him for help, he will do this! He knows we are not perfect and he also knows your heart, so do not try to ask for things that you do not need God knows us all and he does get hurt and he does cry just like you and i. I had a painful childhood but god has shown me the light as I came to him with an open heart, you to can do this! Forget the magazines tapes etc the only good book you need is the Bible and an open heart.
You don’t need fancy things, just the will to do what’s right God provides for the birds and the bee’s and he will do much more for you, ask and seek and it will be given to you, Pr 3:5-6, Matt.7: 7
God is a loving God and he is waiting for you to say I want to change!!! Im not trying to go free or go home nor go without being punished and I am not here walking with God just because I am on death row, I am doing this because I want to be and feel better about who I am! For once I am standing up on my own two feet now, and God is proud of me for this.
Let go and let God have control, he does not need your help and you do not know more than he does, regardless of what condition your in or what sin you did HE will make it right. He wants to give you things; he wants to show you he loves you more than anyone else on this earth! Use your heart be real with him and watch him work.
Stop driving yourself crazy causing yourself heartache, open your heart to God, I promise you that you will not be sorry!!!!!!!
Samuel Bustamante #999380
Polunsky Unit D/R
3872 FM 350 South Livingston